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Q: I am a very emotional person. At 35 years old I find that this is not going to change. How can I manage to be professional when I cry every time I get angry or upset?

A: To get a handle on your situation you can use three of the 9 Keys For Mastering Your Anger.

4. Hit the pause button

Take a deep breath and hold it for at least 6 seconds. This will give you a chance to deal with the wave of emotion flooding your system. During your pause you want to instantly think of something that will help you master the moment.

Million-Dollar Question: What should you be thinking about? Keep reading and you’ll find out.

5. Change your inner conversation.

I’m not sure what you say to your self when angry, but it probably isn’t helpful. Most people are thinking thoughts that just make the situation worse.

Speaking of which, one of the most ineffective things that you could say to yourself is- “I’m not going to cry.”

There’s a good chance that you’ll end up crying anyway because you had to think about it in order to try to keep yourself from doing it. That’s nasty little head game that you’re better off not playing. And in the end it usually just gives you something else to beat yourself up about, right?

You want to think of something doable and encouraging. I’ll give you a suggestion in a moment.

6. Challenge your beliefs and perceptions

Your question clearly outlines beliefs and perceptions that you feel are true. I’ll touch on a couple of the main ones.

  • “…I find that this is not going to change…I cry every time I get angry or upset…”- Beliefs and perceptions about your behavior.

Has there ever been a time when you got angry or upset and you didn’t cry? Think about it. And your answer is…

If your answer isn’t yes then think harder.

I have yet to encounter someone who does something EVERY time. If you were able to perform some alternate behavior once, you can do it again. (I hope that your alternate behavior wasn’t bashing somebody in the head!)

If you happen to be the only person who does perform a certain behavior EVERY time then you’ll have to think of someone you admire. Use his behavior as your focal point. Imagine being like him or her.

The answer to the million-dollar question:

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Al "The Inspiration" Duncan  ::   The Millennial Mentor  :: Soft Skills Expert
Motivational Speaker  ::  Youth Speaker ::  College Speaker