Anger Management 3

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3. Find the triggers and roots

By keeping an anger journal, it will be much easier to identify and break patterns that trigger an episode of extreme anger.

Bad traffic, idiot drivers, conniving co-workers, a slow waitress, a computer that constantly freezes up, and delayed or canceled flights are examples of things that bring out the beast in some people. Others may get angry at a certain time of the day, week, or month.

What triggers your anger?

Once you recognize a pattern in the types of events that trigger your anger, it’s time to dig deeper and find the roots.

What past experiences have compelled you to react the same way?

Finding the root of your anger may take some time; you might have to sleep on it for a while. In the meantime when ever the beast starts to come out…

4. Hit the pause button

Picture this. A guy named Michael has terrible day at work and he can’t wait to go home and get some peace and quiet. When he arrives home his 11-year old daughter and some of her friends are playing in the living room.

Feeling robbed of his peace and quiet; Michael could sense the start of an anger attack. It began with a feeling in the pit of his stomach shooting up to his head, causing a sensation of heat and pressure.

Blood started rushing to his head. Due to his pigmentation, the extra blood flow caused his face to flush. (This is probably where the term hothead originated.) At a moment like this logic typically goes right out the window.

Million-Dollar Question: What was the best thing that Michael- or anyone else for that matter- could’ve done?

Pretend life is a DVD player, hit the pause button, and take the proverbial deep breath.

In an article called With Friends Like These, I explain the scientific validity to the age-old adage: count to ten. Taking at least a 6-second pause allows a bit of logic to return and the wave of emotion to subside. (Well…at least a little.) Hitting the pause button also gives you chance to…