8. Make it humorous
Have you ever been mad, frustrated, or upset about something and a few months or years later you started laughing as you thought about it?
When angry, it’s helpful to ask- what will be amusing about this when I think about it later. Is it your facial expression? How about someone else’s facial expression? Is it something that you or someone else said?
Good comedians are great at turning emotional turmoil into humor. Pretend that you are your favorite comedian. What would he or she say about what is happening?
Although it can be challenging to find humor in a situation, it is worth the effort because humor is such an effective antidote for anger. And who knows- maybe you’ll become a great stand-up comedian in the process!
Even after making it humorous and using the other seven keys we’ve talked about so far, there is little hope for lasting change unless you…
9. Keep the benefits
The behavioral expression of anger always produces at least one perceived benefit. Receiving attention, maintaining self-respect, feeling powerful, and keeping the peace- in the case suppressing one’s anger- are examples of benefits that are gained.
Unless a person finds an alternate course of action that produces the same benefit(s), he is likely to resume the undesired behavior.
What do you gain as a result of your anger?
For me, it’s usually self-respect or a sense of control. I used to have serious anger issues. But after devoting time to developing self-awareness, I’ve realized that the calmer I am, the more I’m in control of the situation.
I’m not saying that I’m some mystical master monk who is always in control of my anger. Sometimes it’s a tug-o-war. Nonetheless, I do eventually win. So will you as long as you keep the benefits.
You probably realize that taming the beast is not a one-size-fits-all process. Start with whichever key caught your attention the most and from there move on to the others.
Remember, suppressing your anger is not the goal. You are not trying to cage the beast; you are taming the beast.
Copyright 2006 Al Duncan Enterprises. All rights reserved.
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