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You probably hold on to most of your beliefs the same way.
Once you believe that your anger is justified (and it might be), it can be incredibly challenging to let go of that belief.
Once you have a perception that someone has intentionally said or done something negative to you (and he may have) it can be extremely difficult to let go of that belief, but the bottom line is-
While you are working on challenging your beliefs and perceptions, keep on mind that sometimes you just have to …
Chill and relax.
Another Million-Dollar Question: When should a person with anger issues chillax?
One of the pioneers in behavioral-therapy research, Joseph Wolpe, reasons that it is impossible to feel highly aroused and relaxed at the same time. Therefore if a person is able to relax while being exposed to an unpleasant stimulus, there is a good chance that he will be deconditioned.
Research shows that attempting to treat anger by simply learning relaxation techniques is not as effective as imagining or remembering triggers and roots combined with relaxation.
This exposure and relaxation technique has worked great for quite a few of the young people I’ve worked with. One young guy in his late teens, Tom (fake name of course), would get so mad that people called him Tom the Tsunami! (Well, maybe I was the one who called him that but I thought it was funny.)
While thinking about things that would make him angry, I would have Tom do deep breathing exercises. Eventually, by combining this technique with the ‘hit the pause button’ technique, he was able to chillax and regain his composure much quicker in the heat of the moment.
Out of all of the keys, this can be the most difficult one to do on your own. Many people find that certain events are too unpleasant or painful to relive. If this is the case for you, as I said earlier, get some professional help.
King Solomon wrote “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” So, when extremely angry about something it’s beneficial to…